Farmer milks a cow

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head. Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it, until the bug squirted out into his bucket. It went in one ear and out the udder.

I love it!

Chicken Joke

Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide.

Ole Joke

FINKERS

Ole vas vorking at the fish plant up nort in Dulut vhen he accidentally cut off all ten of his finkers.
He vent to da emergency room in the Clinik and vhen he got dar da Norsky doctor looked at Ole and said, "Let's have da finkers and I'll see vhat I can do."
Ole said, "I haven't got da finkers."
"Vhat do you mean, you hafen't got da finkers?" the doctor said. "Lord! It's 2009 and I'ves got microsurgery and all kinds of incredible techniques. I could hafe put dem back on and made you like new! Vhy din't you brink da
finkers?"
Ole says........"How da heck vas I suppose to pick dem up?"

Urine or You're Out

THE JOB - URINE TEST (Whoever wrote this one deserves a HUGE pat on the back!)

Like a lot of folks in this state, I have a job. I work, and they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck, I am required to pass a random urine test with which I have no problem. What I do have a problem with is the distribution
of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test.

So here is my Question. Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet.
I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their rump--doing drugs, while I work.

Can you imagine how much money the state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? I guess we could title that program,
'Urine or You're Out'.

Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That...

The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?