New Diet: low FODMAPs for Me.

Over the last few years my gut had been getting worse.  I went gf a few months before conceiving Felicity and felt SO much better.  But over the years I have been cutting out more and more foods that appeared to give me stomach pains.  The difficult thing about a food-elimination diet is the time it takes (irritating foods may cause distress anywhere between 1/2 hr to days later).  I have been following these guidelines of the low FODMAP diet for 5 days now and this is the best I've felt in years.  Last month I was convinced I had liver or pancreatic cancer because of the constant pain.  The Blood tests showed otherwise. (Praise God). I had cut out all dairy, sugar, gluten and still felt icky. 

I don't know how I stumbled upon a low FODMAP diet, probably one of my many "abdominal pain" google searches.  Mainly they explain that you that you go on the diet for 4-6 wks and then slowly re-introduce irritating foods.  I was SO surprised to find out that the soy, peas, beans, cauliflower, garlic, onions, I was eating were making my insides churn and causing such pain.  The good thing about this diet is that I don't have to avoid the foods altogether.  I can have the moderate and high FODMAP foods, just in moderation.  I haven't officially been Dx with IBS/IBD, Crohn's disease, or anything of the sort, technically.  I'm so tired of going to doctors, paying a hearty co-pay and bill, and have nothing to show for it.  Sometime you have to be your own advocate.  Scratch that--ALWAYS you must be your own advocate.

I'm constantly reminded that we eat to live not live to eat.  (But if I could a donut occasionally, I'd be one happy camper!). It's a weird diet.  Grapes are good, but raisins are bad. Maple syrup is good, honey is bad.  Dry wine is good, sweet wine is bad. Most white cheeses are good, processed or yellow cheeses are bad. Mainly fructose is the culprit, but also fermentable foods.  And anything that gives the average person wind (cauliflower, cabbage, beans) reels havok on IBS sufferers guts.

FOD·MAP 

ˈfädˌmap/

noun: FODMAP

1. one of a group of compounds thought to contribute to the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome and similar gastrointestinal disorders. The term is used mainly with reference to a diet that is low in these compounds (which are mainly carbohydrates).

   
   

Origin

early 21st century: acronym from fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides, and polyols .

Home by Choice

• Based on the way his parents treat him, a child will form certain expectations on how others will treat him.
• Children judged to be securely attached to both parents exhibit the most confidence & competence.
• Believe in personality change and healing for the un-nurtured self. Confront the wounded child.
• Insecurely attached children often become aggressive, hostile, or uncooperative with peers, retreat from others, or become passive/withdrawn.
• Give kids time & attention!!
• If a child isn't raised with love, time, and affection they won't have the emotional resources to give that to their kids.
• One study showed that moms who chose to work were, “lonely, only children.” Their homes were filled with tension and frequent episodes of martial strife. Most women did not have a close relationship with both parents.
• Psychologists found a relationship between the presence/absence of nurture in childhood and the desire to have children.
• One study showed women who identified with their fathers (and not their mothers) often became careerists, especially if they rejected their mother's traditional lifestyle.
• Careerists withdraw not because they don't care, but because it hurts to care.
• Ruth Josselson, “Finding herself” says “the most important task facing women today is the formation of identity that a woman bases her sense of herself as well as her vision for the structure of her life.”
  Working women: identity was based on connections vs career.
• How can a mom maximize those hard, but sweet years of child rearing (the summer of her life).
• A woman can flourish her first/talents during her years at home: gardening, exercising, writing.
• “Any man who works 40-60 hrs/wk and commutes has little time after functioning as husband and father to pursue his own interests.” Mom can. And she can take time to help with those household chores the husband lacks time to do.
• Make birthdays & holidays special, memorable, happy. Take turns telling the b-day person what they mean to you.
• What about you who were un-nurtured, who feel isolated & alone? You may struggle with depression or have a hard time organizing your day. What do you do if you feel overwhelmed.
• Friendships with other women are the antidote for depression.
• Therapy does not heal the soul. Psychiatry & psychology were effective at diagnosing human ills, but could it exercise the soul? No. Ask God to make you whole.
• In one study 80% of husbands felt their relationship lacked intimacy if the woman worked full time.
• When a woman is at home, men need to have emotionally and physically accessible wives to feel secure.
• “Men need a sensitive woman who can get to the heart of the matter. We men dance around personal issues. We're competitive and don't' probe the way women do.”
• Nurturing our husbands: mend have physical strength, but they do not possess our emotional strength.
• We never outgrow our need for our father's blessings. Children, esp boys, need to hear “I love you” and get hugs from Dad.
• Men tend to struggle with careers in their 20's & 30's only to turn toward relationships in their 40's & 50's. While women establish family and friend connections in our 20's & 30's, then begin to focus on productive ventures outside the home in our 40's & 50's.

Ice

E's first time not holding onto mom or dad.

F's first time on ice with real skates.  Couldn't get a good selfie--she wouldn't let go of me.

Time Stops

Have you ever seen one of those shows where the video is sped up?  Traffic zooms so all you see are streaks of red and yello lights.  The busy streets of places like New York are just a blur of people, pedestrians obeying street lights, all melding into one blur. Nature videos sped up so it shows grass grow, a flower grow, blossom, and die, and the sun rising a setting in a few seconds on screen.

This is how I've always felt when an intense life event occurs.  It's as though time has stopped for me and those affected and we're just standing in the middle of it watching the world go by.  It happened when my great grandma died.  It happened when Dad died. It happened when I gave birth to both of my daughters and as I lost my third.  It doesn't always have to be negative.  Yet my heart cries out for the rest of the world, "SLOW DOWN! Don't you know what could happen to you?"

I'm surprised when it happens, and when it doesn't.  I'm reading a book by Matthew Kelly and when he writes of the time he was diagnosed with cancer it made me realize this dazed feeling he described has happened to me and I can recall each and every time.  It's a very close-to-God moment and must be what heaven is like.  Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere

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