Momma @ Pre-K

I brought supplies to E's class and we made binoculars then went on a hunt for gold(en twinkies).  Ms. Darbro then had "Rhe Littlest Leprechaun" book and the kids asked me to read.  Afterwards we went to music then came back for stations. Fun was had by all. I kind of worried what parents would think of toilet paper rolls & wine-cork binoculars, but I haven't heard anything negative back yet. The kids were also so good about letting Felicity join in the fun too! Hehe here's some pics the teacher took:

A Bio-Mom's Surrender Letter

This is a post from a girl with whom I went to school; R.H.  I've had my opinions about her in the past, but I'm striving to be overall better & not judge.

David and I are going through the foster-to-adopt licensing process. It's time consuming. We've even doubted ourselves a few times, but we feel compelled to help that special someone God had planned for our family. 

Here is what my classmate wrote on FB and attached a beautiful picture of her 4 gorgeous children.  It's a beautiful and sad letter to her babes as (I believe, the way it sounds) she had given up custody for their good.  I give her credit for doing the right thing, even though it must have been excruciatingly difficult.  May God bless her and her children. 

"Life has never been easy for me, though this makes no excuse.

I have had my trials and tribulations, but my love for you has always been my truth! 

The four of you; two daughters and two sons, are my reasons for holding on.

The reason air pushes threw my lungs, and my heart still beats strong.

Tears build in my eyes as I write down these words. Knowing they do not convey the pain I feel everyday, for it only gets worse.

From not being there even though I desperately want to be! Unable to show my love, or to just be your Mommy.

Not able to dry your tears, not able to calm your fears. Wishing your happy birthdays from too far away, not able to celebrate with you in any way.

My heart breaks at the thought that I have broken yours. It has been breaking my heart from the moment we parted, and mine separated from yours.

I have tried to reach out in person and in pen. But have been denied and called unfit.

I have jumped threw hoops and crawled threw sludge anything to show my love.

But it has never been enough to prove, never been enough to show; that I am worthy to have you as my own. 

Being kept from you is like being imprisoned in time, my life is forever paused until I have you back in mine.

Trusting the paper she held and the love she claimed to have for me... I made a deal with the Devil, and signed my life away."

Footprints on My Heart (Treadmill)

I don't like to exercise. I do it. I feel better afterwards. I kind of look forward to it up until it's time to start.  Actually I'm like oh look...laundry, needs to be done before I exercise.  I know I'm kidding myself. 

The leading cause of death is heart disease. My dad was dx with CHF on his deathbed that he wasn't aware of prior.  I want to be around for my kids. I hate taking time away from them to say "mommy has to exercise". And don't get me wrong, I don't even exercise daily if I have physically challenging chores to do. However I hope I'm instilling in them the desire for good health and also prolonging my life so I can be with them longer in this world.  Tonight I traced the kids feet on my treadmill to remind me that I run not for myself, not for others, but for my family. 

Beautiful Winter

Our first summer, fall, & winter were awesome. Our snow was gone last wk, March 15th. We had about 4" more come then disappear by the wkend.  I know this is a fluke, but I'm loving it!!! SO excited to be planting soon!!!

Sweet Innocence

Friday night Pizza Party on the Deck:

My sweet girls. I already find myself mourning their youth & innocence...and they're only 5&2.  

Yesterday we walked to the neighbors house to deliver a banana bread & get-well cards to Glen, who just got out of the hospital. Elizabeth saw a bunny hop across the lawn & asked, "is that the Easter bunny? Do you think he'll leave us eggs to find?" 

She also asked if I thought Elsa is going to do magic at the Enchanted tea party we are going to next month with the Disney princesses. 

Today I heard Felicity ask 'Doc', "if I do 'thomthin fo you, would dat makes you happy?"

And just when I mourn their bigness, their littleness comes through and I melt. 

Sunday In the Kitchen

We went to mass last night after reconciliation so we had the morning to veg & play. 

The girls colored eggs then helped me make oatmeal cookies (Fr Chuck's favorite) banana bread (an extra for our elderly neighbor who just came from the hospital) & Felicity's favorite corn bread muffins. As long as the oven was hot I also threw in a pre-made meatloaf from the freezer for lunch. (Not pictured bc meatloaf aren't pretty.). And the girls love protein balls, so we whipped up a quick batch. 4 hrs later I'm rock-a-byeing with my babies watching Curious George, trying to plan this wks menu. 

I often times ask myself:

How did I ever have time for work?!

How do I spend SO much time in the kitchen? 

"I'm Praying for You"

"Sending you happy thoughts." This phrase saddens me because the person writing it does not want to say they're praying for the person. Why?  Is the writer non-religious? Are we so afraid of offending people?  If a Jewish friend told me they're praying for me, wouldn't I still be appreciative in their beliefs and say thank you?

"Asking for positive thoughts."  This is the request of a father of a sick child.  Positive thoughts. Sigh.  Don't be afraid to ask for prayer, God's healing, & Guardian angels to protect you. 

We humans ask why there is so much suffering. I myself ask.  I don't like suffering, pain, mental anguish. Who does?  Why me, Lord?  Why do I feel like I'm being "punished"?

I'm sure the answer is not to be completely understood by us until we rest in heaven.  Isaiah 55:8 : "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," declares the LORD.

 

I'm Catholic. I believe in purgatory.  I believe it's a time of atonement and cleansing before living forever w/ God in heaven.  But maybe some people serve their purgatory here on earth through their own, or through others, suffering.  Maybe the sick child is a test for us. I know when we rushed my baby to the hospital the most important thing I packed was my rosary because that night I prayed, and I prayed hard. 

I admit, when Dad was sick I prayed, and prayed, and prayed.  When he died God and we didn't talk much except for, "why God?"  Otherwise I gave Him the silent treatment. I had no other words. Maybe that's why people ask for positive thoughts because they're mad or they just can't find the words. I get that.  

So even if people can't bring themselves to talk to God & pray themselves in a time of need and are asking for positive thoughts, I'll pray for them.  

Guess I just answered my own question. 

Last Snowman

These are the last snowmen of ther year. It's 3/11/16 and its 60* outside!!! Hung my sheets outside and washed my van. Whoop whoop!!

Little Person's Shower

My dtr has super sensitive skin. I have to rinse her down after bath time to get off all the soapy bath water. After years of struggling w/ different experiments...I succeeded in utilizing the trusty pool noodle. Both kiddos squeal with delight to rinse off after bath time. Whoo hoo! Score one for Mom! 

Counting Our Eggs Before They Lay

Hahahaha. I'm not counting my chickens before thy hatch. I'm saving for eggs before they lay!!  The way my family goes through eggs I have no problem saving up of egg cartons!