So I was doing my Christmas shopping at the Christian book store and stumbled upon these two books. One is for women only. And the other for men only. The author originally wrote "for women only". It's a book on what your spouse desperately wants you to know, but has difficulty saying it. They polled over 400 straight men and interview even more for this book. Some parts were expected - yes, I knew that already. While other parts were - WHAT?! You really think that?! What he learned: Men say "I do" at the alter, thinking that it should make a woman feel secure & loved all the days of her life, while a women needs to hear & feel it on a daily basis. Inside every women is that little girl- twirling around in her pretty dress, wanting her dearly beloved to say, "you are so beautiful. I love you". Yes men - DAILY. David does very well at this, but he found it funny that we actually need it to hear it to feel loved and desired.
Another was that true definition of "multi-tasking". The author describes a woman at dinner w/ her spouse & another couple. The kids are in the next room, playing, and she knows that there is a lighter on a high shelf. She cannot relax knowing that the kids and the candle lighter are in the same room. (Been there, done that.) Women's minds are like computers with 4-9 open windows on the desk top - flashing between all of them, but still conquering them all. Men generally have 1-2 windows open at a time, but form a deep focus on one task at a time.
What I learned: Men have a visual Rolodex. (Arg!) As much as I hate to admit it, they do. So I talked to my girlfriends. "There's nothing you can do. They're all like that," one friend stated. Au contraire. Like Shaunti said, you can (1) pray for your husband and his struggles. The sight of a pretty girl is a temptation, but not a sin. Once he thinks of her lustfully, then he has committed a sin. Jesus was tempted in the desert - but he did not sin. And (2) dress modestly so that you are not a temptation to other men.
And something else I didn't know: men are providers. (Ya, so, right?) No really, they think about this a LOT. "For most men, the need to provide is so deeply rooted that almost nothing can relieve this feeling of duty." Wow, really? I never knew how burdened (for lack of a better word) men were with providing. Providing is at the core of a man's identity.
Men want respect. Women want love. Which is funny because that is what the Bible tells us: Ephesians 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
My question always was: well, I know how to show love, but how do I show respect? The book answers this.
David & I had a few really good discussions after reading these books. Not everyone likes "self-help" books, but this one...I highy recommend.
This is not a book for couples who need counseling - it says so in the first few chapters. It is something every woman (& man) should read in order to better understand their spouse & make for a better relationship. I give a lot of books away, but these are two that will nest on my bookshelf. What did I ramble on and on? Because I would love to lend these books out to anyone interested in reading them, but I do not believe everyone will ask me for them. They are a quick 190 pg weekend read. http://forwomenonlybook.com/BooksStudies/ForWomenOnly/tabid/137/Default.aspx
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