My Heart Hurts

I just found out that a friend of mine had her baby, breech and baby got stuck.  Baby was born brain  dead.  The family of 6 decided to donate baby girl's organs and somewhere a 1 month old little girl got a new heart.

At church we have 2 priests, both middle aged and full of wisdom.  We love them both dearly.  This wkend one priest made the announcement that the other would like to let the congregation know that he was just diagnosed with ALS.  He's going to the Mayo for a 2nd opinion.

Just when things seem to be going so well, you're given more to pray for each day, either in thanksgiving or lifting those up in prayer around you.  Time to just slow down and live.

Dec 10, 2016

2017 US Tragedies

* Donald Trump became our 45th president, beating out Hillary Clinton.
* Wildfires: California, Idaho, Montana, Oregon, Washington; so far this year, more than 8 million acres have burned
* Hurricanes: Harvey (Category 4, Tx), Irma (Category 5, FL, British Virgin Islands), Maria (Category 5, Puerto Rico). "In just three days, Irma, Jose and Katia have produced as much as energy as about half a normal six-month hurricane season."
* Las Vegas Shooting: 59 killed, over 500 injured.
* Tornadoes:  There have been 1,423 reports of tornadoes in the United States in 2017 so far.
* Earthquake: Mexico 8.1.

Master Bedroom Renovations

My helper! :)

Our basement is white, and I think I'll leave it that way because it will prob be too dark otherwise since it is a 1/2 buried basement with little windows/sunlight.  However we have lived in our home 2 yrs now and while I painted over the bright white upstairs (entryway, living room, kitchen/dining room, office, hallway, & bathroom), the master bedroom was still left.  So after painting the outside of the house, the inside upstairs, stripping and staining the 2 decks, and finishing up the garden...my bedroom finally made it to the top of the to-do list!  It's hard to tell in the photos, but the top is a very light, pastel pink and the bottom was mauve with a very frilly, flowery border.  YUCK!!!  Now I go to bed with a boring, mellow brown lulling me to sleep and that suites me just fine.  

That being said our house is DONE being painted...for now!

Before! ARG!!!

Ahhhh...after!

Are you Chronically Conflicted? DO you Avoid Conflict? I do...

1. You Fear Disappointing Or Displeasing Anybody

Conflict avoidance is classic people-pleasing behavior. If people-pleasing doesn't sound that bad to you (why would you not want to make other people happy?), we're talking about the extreme here: where a fear of provoking displeasure or negative emotions in others keeps you from expressing yourself or trying to fix issues. Conflict avoidance often comes from a deep fear of pissing anybody off or making them "dislike" you in any way; in the conflict-avoidant person's mind, enduring a bad situation is better than fighting about it and possibly incurring somebody's displeasure.

2. You Pull Conversational Maneuvers To Get Away From Fights

Serial conflict-avoiders will have a series of unconscious manoeuvres to get out of fight situations. Maybe you throw out a joke; maybe you get all passive-aggressive; maybe you leave the room, or deliberately change the subject. But if things start to look like conflict, your immediate reaction is to either get out of the situation or somehow change it so that it's more peaceful, rather than seeing the fight through.

3. You Practice "Gunnysacking"Conflict-avoiding people are often gunnysackers. It's a term from psychology, referring to the practice of silently accumulating grievances, annoyances, and problems as they build up, and then letting them all go in a rush as the "sack" bursts, often completely flooding their target. Gunnysacking is intimately related to conflict avoidance, because it's what happens when you don't resolve things as you go along, and just hold onto them instead. It can also reinforce conflict-avoidant behavior, because after the flood of misery dumps, you may feel absolutely wretched and irrational, and resolve to "be more peaceful" in the future. Cue new gunnysack cycle.

4. You Experienced Bad Conflicts In Your ChildhoodA bit of fighting isn't actually a bad thing. You just have to learn to fight well, and fight respectfully. But conflict-avoidant people tend to have learned, early in their lives, that conflict is a frightening, negative experience to be avoided at all costs, rather than something that can actually resolve problems. Violent fights, irrational parents, conflicts that escalate rapidly into seriously damaging slanging matches: if you've seen a fight go really badly wrong, you'll be inclined to pull away from all possibility of that happening in the future, even if your coworkers are unlikely to pitch a horrific fit if you disagree about a PowerPoint.

5. You Silently Resent That Things Don't Resolve

Here's the thing: in adulthood, some things rarely resolve properly without a good fight, or at least somebody standing up for themselves and asserting their opinion. If you're conflict avoidant, instead of telling your boss they've got your pay wrong and need to fix it, or a boyfriend that their birthday card for your mom was offensive, you'll suffer in silence. Key word "suffer," because the issue at hand won't change if you won't engage in discussion about it, and the same thing will likely happen again. And that's how resentment builds.

6. You've Suffered Injustice And Unfairness Just To Avoid A FightIf you can think of more than one example where avoiding a fight led to a significant disadvantage on your part, you're probably a prime candidate for conflict-avoiding status. Sometimes avoiding conflict is a good idea; if somebody is being irrational, prone to violence, or just needs to be calmed down rather than met with assertive responses, it's a good and diplomatic idea. But you have rights, and if you've let them slip rather than go for a direct confrontation, you're avoiding conflict and costing yourself things in the process. And no, complaining to other people doesn't count as helping a conflict resolve itself.

7. You Have A Fear Of Expressing YourselfThis is tied to #4. Fights are, ultimately, about expressing our own position in ways that may convince the other person that they're wrong. If, however, you've come from an environment where your own views were met with dismissiveness, snorts of derision, serious smack downs, constant criticism, or any other kind of systemic dismantling, you're not going to feel comfortable asserting yourself.

This is also, frankly, a feminist issue. Women, as Jennifer Lawrence pointed out so eloquently in her essay for Lenny Letter about salary negotiations, are supposed to be "nice". We're not supposed to play hardball, step up to criticism, come out guns blazing, or stand our ground. We're culturally expected to couch any self-expression within apology, humility, and gentleness. Being assertive is not part of our set of cultural weapons, but it damn well should be. If you avoid conflict because, on some level, you believe it's not ladylike to get involved in deep, dirty fights, you may be doing yourself a serious disservice.

Getting out of conflict-avoidant patterns is tricky, but there are a lot of psychological guides to getting what you need out of a conflict, from pre-planning your sentences in your head to figuring out how you'd like things to resolve ahead of time. It's all right. A simple verbal confrontation over sandwiches with a barista won't kill you. I promise.

Assumption of Mary

Our Lady of Guadalupe

"Rev 12: A great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head."

Today we celebrate Mary being assumed into heaven.  Deacon Matt gave a wonderful homily on the beauty of Mary's "YES" to God.  She opened the doors that Eve had closed.  Jesus was then able to become the new Adam.  I pray that I continuously say "yes" to God.

The top pic is one of my many favorites of mother Mary; Our Lady of Guadalupe.

The middle picture is of the basement of the Basilica of St. Mary David and I went to on our last trip to Minneapolis.  It seems like an ordinary picture, but it was shocking to me because I've seen this basement in a very vivid dream.  There was a table in the middle and from the center was 7 hallways spreading out in each direction. Down each hallway was gorgeous painting sculptures, models, nativity scenes.  Simply breathtaking.  For a moment I was speechless and teary eyed because of how amazingly similar it was to the dream I had incurred.

Gardening-Tippy Corn

Arg.  I'm not big on growing corn.  It just SUCKS the nutrients out of the garden and it's dirt-cheap to buy, but the family wanted it this year.  As long as I had the extra room in the garden, I obliged.  Son of a gun, wouldn't you know that a very quick, but very strong storm went through and bent every one down to the ground.  I forgot to take a pic.  That night David and I went out, lifted them back up, and he hoed dirt around the stalks to prop them back up.  It worked, so far.  Now to see if they'll keep growing and produce or not.  If not, I've learned my lesson.

Growing corn was nothing super important to me, but it still bummed me out to lose it.  Imagine losing your home or something else you've worked endlessly on just to have it gone (poof) like that in a moment.  Guess I should count my blessing instead of my turned over corn stalks.

Abigail

lptv.org, May 4, 2017
"She may look like any other 20-month-old little girl, but Abigail Freihammer is living with a heart condition. Her parents say Abigail can do almost anything and is full of energy even after one surgery and six procedures.

“Abby had the transposition of the great arteries; it meant that the two main arteries coming out of her heart were switched, so she was going to need surgery immediately after birth,” said Abigail’s Father, Brandon Freihammer.

Just three months ago Abigail’s heart took a turn for the worse. Now she’s on a transplant list for a new heart and may receive it within six months to a year.

“We’ve got accepted into the program down at Mayo [Clinic]. We’ve been on, they call a Level II where it’s been kind of an indefinite hold, but now that Abby’s condition gotten worse and she’s going to have the IV medication all the time,” said Brandon. “She’s going to be they call it Level 1B.”

Despite these circumstances, life must go on for the Freihammers. They’re also parents to five-month-old Benson. Asking “why Abigail?” just doesn’t happen.

“I try and move that one away as quickly as I can because there aren’t any good answers and it doesn’t help me handle the present,” said Aana.

The couple leans on their faith for strength.

“God won’t leave us in a dark spot, that’ll he’ll bring good out of anything,” said Aana. “We kind of hold on to that hope.”

The Freihammers are hopeful that Abigail will eventually lead a normal life with a new heart.

“So even though we’re going to be solving some problems for Abigail we’ve got new ones ahead that we have to be ready for,” said Aana."

I'm happy to say that when I came home from my vacation with the girls this wkend, David said that they announced in church that baby Abby got the call and got a new heart this wkend.  We rejoiced and praised God for his blessings.  There are still staying in Rochester for a month or so because her body could potentially reject the new heart and she's going to need therapy.  This cherub-faced little girl is so special to the entire church congregation and needs all the prayers we can muster. Just about every night we pray for "baby Abby's broken heart" (Felicity's words).  It's very sad how one has to acquire a new heart, but I also pray for the family who donated it and their loss they are suffering as well.  God bless you, Baby Abby.  You've already touched more lives than you'll ever know.  God has great things in store for you.

First Camping Experience

Elizabeth BEGGED me to bring her camping.  I'm not big on it; the bugs, the dirt, the lack of facilities, the wilderness, lack of running water besides lakes/streams, noisy neighbors, the hot days & cool nights...can you tell I'm not big on it?  I kept my prior experiences and opinions to myself so as not to negatively influence my daughters.
Anyhow...I asked my Goodland family if we could camp there so my kids could experience the great outdoors and get in some valuable cousin time.  We weren't really roughing it since we stayed in their camper, used their indoor facilities, and had hot-cooked meals daily, but it was still super fun.  Besides a few bug bites we took home with us, fun was had by all.

Beast 2002, Enzo 2017

Catriana 3.5, Felicity 4, Elizabeth 6.5, Isabella 7, William 8.5

Keeping cool playing Operation

Goofy babies

Introverts

Wm -- always the good helper

Monkeys

Lemongrass

Here are My 10 favorite Ways to Use Lemongrass Essential Oil:

1. For Thyroid Support: Combine 10 drops of lemongrass, 10 drops of frankincense, 10 drops of basil, 10 drops of clove and 10 drops of myrrh in a glass roller ball and top with fractionated coconut oil. Rub a few swipes on the bottoms of the feet twice a day.  
2. Lymphatic Drainage: Rub 1 drop of Lemongrass with a bit of fractionated coconut oil on the bottoms of the feet 2x a day. Movement is also very important for the lymphatic system, so make sure to combine this with at least 30 minutes of exercise each day. 
3. For Lactose Intolerance: Place 1-2 drops in a veggie capsule and take internally 20 minutes before eating. I have a friend who does this when eating out at restaurants just in case he consumes anything with dairy without his knowledge. He says it works wonderfully! (I recognize that ingesting pure essential oils internally is a controversial topic. If you're not comfortable ingesting the oils, then simply rub 1-2 drops over the stomach.)
4. Natural Insect Repellant: Diffuse 2 drops Lemongrass, 2 drops Thyme, 2 drops Eucalyptus, and 2 drops Basil.
5. For Edema: Rub 1-2 drops with some Fractionated Coconut Oil on any areas of the body that are retaining fluids. If you're retaining fluids on a normal basis, this can be a sign of an adrenal imbalance. Click here for more info. 
6. To Sooth Aching Joints and Muscles: Rub 1 drop of lemongrass and 1 drop of Eucalyptus with a bit of fractionated coconut oil over area of concern. 
7. Occasional Fever: Rub 1 drop of lemongrass and 1 drop of peppermint with a bit of fractionated coconut oil up and down the spine. 
8. Bloating and Gas: Rub 1 drop of lemongrass and 1 drop of DigestZen over the abdomen. 
9. To Calm the Nerves: Diffuse 2 drops Lemongrass, 2 drops Lavender, and 1 drop Geranium.
10. To Soothe a Sore Throat: Rub 1 drop lemongrass and 1 drop frankincense with a bit of fractionated coconut oil over the throat. 

07/07/2017

 Today is the day baby Brooksie would have been born.  December 9th we were 10 wks pregnant when I started to bleed, had an ultrasound to find no heartbeat, started to bleed profusely Dec 10th, and brought to the ER for a D&C.  Obviously we don't know the gender.  I would have liked to have met baby George or Gabriela (my choices for names), but God had a different plan.  Elizabeth talks about Baby Brooksie often and prays for him/her that we'll meet again someday in heaven. One spends a lot of time self reflecting on why things happen.  Until we meet again, sweet baby...

 

Felicity Turns 4

My little Joy Joy.  She's made such huge gains in 1 year.  Her favorite colors are purple & yellow, but she can recite all the colors of the rainbow in order.  She can spell her name, Mom, & Dad as well as write them.  Her BFF is her big sister and her favorite toy is Violet the Care Bear.  She loves her "pretty shoes", but only wears them with her dresses.  She likes her bugs, caterpillars, & chickens.  I so look forward to watching her grow, yet ache for her babyhood.  Happy birthday, baby girl.  I love you!

Lime EO

Here are my favorite 8 Favorite Ways to Use Lime oil:

1. For extra antioxidants and immune support - add a drop of lime to your morning smoothie. Here's my favorite smoothie recipe that I like adding a drop of lime to. 
2. Spring fling diffuser blend (this blend will freshen the air and help you feel more relaxed) - Place 3 drops Lime, 3 drops Lavender and 2 drops Ylang Ylang in a diffuser. 
3. To calm anxiety or to help you sleep - Rub 1 drop of lime on the spine or the back of the neck as needed. 
4. If your digestive system is too slow - Rub 1 drop of Lime oil and 1 drop of DigestZen oil over the abdomen daily. 
5. All-natural cleaning solution - Place 2 drops of lime oil on a cotton pad and use to remove sticky residue and grease spots. Or, combine 1 cup water, 1/2 cup organic vinegar and 10 drops lime oil in a glass spray bottle and use to clean the entire house. 
6. For colds, coughs, sore throat and chest congestion - Place 1-2 drops to a bowl of steaming water and inhale it. You can also mix a few drops with fractionated coconut oil oil, then rub it on your neck and chest.
7. To Relieve Joint Pain - Rub 1 drop of lime oil and 1 drop of Deep Blue over the area of concern.  
8. To flavor your food or beverages - Add 1 drop of lime oil to guacamole, salsa or pico de Gallo, margaritas, fresh lemonade, salad dressings, or marinades. A bottle of lime oil in the spring and summer is so helpful in the kitchen!

Repeated

I haven't blogged much lately.  I rarely spend much time on my computer besides doing the budget and the blog app on my phone no longer works.  Also my camera broke, and while the camera repair shop "fixed it" in a bandage approach, it's still difficult to get the battery & card out to charge and get pictures from it.

I miss blogging. I love journaling in my journal and leaving something behind for my family so they know me on a different level. I want them to know me, not just remember me.  Here is my journal, here is my online journal as well to let my family:friends just how special they are to someone.

Lately I've heard this in 4 different spots; The Shack (book & movie), 7 Secrets of Confession book, Bible  study, & The Best Lent by Matthew Kelly. What is "this"?: sin is it's own punishment.  Here I saw God as throwing down lightening bolts of punishment when I screwed up. Turns out I was the one turning away from him, as if turning away from the sun and my own shadow attached to me as my punishment.  When I reconcile with him, I turn to face him again and I no longer face my shadows.

Why do Catholic women wear chapel veils at Mass?

The veil is meant to be an external sign of a woman's interior desire to humble herself before God, truly present in the Blessed Sacrament. As women, we are symbols of the Church - the Bride of Christ - and "the veil is meant to be a visible reminder of the perfect submission of the Church to the loving rule of Christ."

For 2000 years, Catholic women have worn some kind of head covering in Church. Though the particular reasons for doing so have varied (for example, modesty in the time of St. Paul), this practice has always focused on the transcendence of the place - the church, the very dwelling of the Real Presence of Christ in the Eucharist. Having been given this magnficent Gift by Jesus himself, every Catholic church holds something not found anywhere else: the true, living presence of our Bridegroom, hidden under the appearance of bread and wine.

"The veil is a visual sermon, ... a public proclamation before the Lord that He IS the Lord and that we love Him and that we are ready to obey him. It's a totally counter-cultural statement proclaiming obedience in the midst of a culture that is totally permeated with this attitude of 'I will not serve.'"

The veil is a sign of the great dignity inherent to a woman, who has the potential to receive life within herself... both human life and the supernatural life of God. This is an important message the world needs to hear, now more than ever!

Read more about the Theological Significance of the Veil.

Lent

Longtime Childhood Friend Gone :(

Ryan James LaBine

            Ryan J. LaBine, 34, Rush City, formerly of Nashwauk-Keewatin area died Saturday, February 4, 2017 in Rock Creek, MN.  He was born on May 14, 1982 to Michael LaBine and Suzanne Erickson in Hibbing, MN.  Ryan was employed as a maintenance mechanic for Polaris in Osceola, WI.  He graduated from Eveleth Technical College completing a two year program in maintenance mechanic training. Ryan attended and graduated from N-K High School in 2000. He was a member of the Dirty Riders ATV Club, he loved the outdoors, hunting, fishing, snowmobiling, boating and riding his ATV.  Ryan was such an outgoing, easy to get along with man who could always make you smile.

            He is survived by his wife, Jena LaBine, Rush City, MN, two children, Nolan (12) and Meranda(9) LaBine, both of Rush City, his father, Michael LaBine, Keewatin, MN, mother, Suzanne  Erickson, Coolidge, AZ, his grandmother, Theresa LaBine, Hibbing, and two nephews, Devin Eskeli and Caleb Hunt. 

            He was preceded in death by his grandfather, Dennis LaBine, grandmother, Jean Jensen, and grandfather, Mason Kirk.

            Funeral services for Ryan will be 11:30am, Thursday, February 9, 2017 at Dougherty Funeral Home of Hibbing.  The Rev. Mr. Richard Johnston will officiate.  Visitation will be from 10:00am until the 11:30am funeral service at the funeral home on Thursday.  Arrangements are with the Dougherty Funeral Home of Hibbing.

New Diet: low FODMAPs for Me.

Over the last few years my gut had been getting worse.  I went gf a few months before conceiving Felicity and felt SO much better.  But over the years I have been cutting out more and more foods that appeared to give me stomach pains.  The difficult thing about a food-elimination diet is the time it takes (irritating foods may cause distress anywhere between 1/2 hr to days later).  I have been following these guidelines of the low FODMAP diet for 5 days now and this is the best I've felt in years.  Last month I was convinced I had liver or pancreatic cancer because of the constant pain.  The Blood tests showed otherwise. (Praise God). I had cut out all dairy, sugar, gluten and still felt icky. 

I don't know how I stumbled upon a low FODMAP diet, probably one of my many "abdominal pain" google searches.  Mainly they explain that you that you go on the diet for 4-6 wks and then slowly re-introduce irritating foods.  I was SO surprised to find out that the soy, peas, beans, cauliflower, garlic, onions, I was eating were making my insides churn and causing such pain.  The good thing about this diet is that I don't have to avoid the foods altogether.  I can have the moderate and high FODMAP foods, just in moderation.  I haven't officially been Dx with IBS/IBD, Crohn's disease, or anything of the sort, technically.  I'm so tired of going to doctors, paying a hearty co-pay and bill, and have nothing to show for it.  Sometime you have to be your own advocate.  Scratch that--ALWAYS you must be your own advocate.

I'm constantly reminded that we eat to live not live to eat.  (But if I could a donut occasionally, I'd be one happy camper!). It's a weird diet.  Grapes are good, but raisins are bad. Maple syrup is good, honey is bad.  Dry wine is good, sweet wine is bad. Most white cheeses are good, processed or yellow cheeses are bad. Mainly fructose is the culprit, but also fermentable foods.  And anything that gives the average person wind (cauliflower, cabbage, beans) reels havok on IBS sufferers guts.

FOD·MAP 

ˈfädˌmap/

noun: FODMAP

1. one of a group of compounds thought to contribute to the symptoms of irritable bowel syndrome and similar gastrointestinal disorders. The term is used mainly with reference to a diet that is low in these compounds (which are mainly carbohydrates).

   
   

Origin

early 21st century: acronym from fermentable oligosaccharides, disaccharides, monosaccharides, and polyols .

Home by Choice

• Based on the way his parents treat him, a child will form certain expectations on how others will treat him.
• Children judged to be securely attached to both parents exhibit the most confidence & competence.
• Believe in personality change and healing for the un-nurtured self. Confront the wounded child.
• Insecurely attached children often become aggressive, hostile, or uncooperative with peers, retreat from others, or become passive/withdrawn.
• Give kids time & attention!!
• If a child isn't raised with love, time, and affection they won't have the emotional resources to give that to their kids.
• One study showed that moms who chose to work were, “lonely, only children.” Their homes were filled with tension and frequent episodes of martial strife. Most women did not have a close relationship with both parents.
• Psychologists found a relationship between the presence/absence of nurture in childhood and the desire to have children.
• One study showed women who identified with their fathers (and not their mothers) often became careerists, especially if they rejected their mother's traditional lifestyle.
• Careerists withdraw not because they don't care, but because it hurts to care.
• Ruth Josselson, “Finding herself” says “the most important task facing women today is the formation of identity that a woman bases her sense of herself as well as her vision for the structure of her life.”
  Working women: identity was based on connections vs career.
• How can a mom maximize those hard, but sweet years of child rearing (the summer of her life).
• A woman can flourish her first/talents during her years at home: gardening, exercising, writing.
• “Any man who works 40-60 hrs/wk and commutes has little time after functioning as husband and father to pursue his own interests.” Mom can. And she can take time to help with those household chores the husband lacks time to do.
• Make birthdays & holidays special, memorable, happy. Take turns telling the b-day person what they mean to you.
• What about you who were un-nurtured, who feel isolated & alone? You may struggle with depression or have a hard time organizing your day. What do you do if you feel overwhelmed.
• Friendships with other women are the antidote for depression.
• Therapy does not heal the soul. Psychiatry & psychology were effective at diagnosing human ills, but could it exercise the soul? No. Ask God to make you whole.
• In one study 80% of husbands felt their relationship lacked intimacy if the woman worked full time.
• When a woman is at home, men need to have emotionally and physically accessible wives to feel secure.
• “Men need a sensitive woman who can get to the heart of the matter. We men dance around personal issues. We're competitive and don't' probe the way women do.”
• Nurturing our husbands: mend have physical strength, but they do not possess our emotional strength.
• We never outgrow our need for our father's blessings. Children, esp boys, need to hear “I love you” and get hugs from Dad.
• Men tend to struggle with careers in their 20's & 30's only to turn toward relationships in their 40's & 50's. While women establish family and friend connections in our 20's & 30's, then begin to focus on productive ventures outside the home in our 40's & 50's.

Ice

E's first time not holding onto mom or dad.

F's first time on ice with real skates.  Couldn't get a good selfie--she wouldn't let go of me.

Time Stops

Have you ever seen one of those shows where the video is sped up?  Traffic zooms so all you see are streaks of red and yello lights.  The busy streets of places like New York are just a blur of people, pedestrians obeying street lights, all melding into one blur. Nature videos sped up so it shows grass grow, a flower grow, blossom, and die, and the sun rising a setting in a few seconds on screen.

This is how I've always felt when an intense life event occurs.  It's as though time has stopped for me and those affected and we're just standing in the middle of it watching the world go by.  It happened when my great grandma died.  It happened when Dad died. It happened when I gave birth to both of my daughters and as I lost my third.  It doesn't always have to be negative.  Yet my heart cries out for the rest of the world, "SLOW DOWN! Don't you know what could happen to you?"

I'm surprised when it happens, and when it doesn't.  I'm reading a book by Matthew Kelly and when he writes of the time he was diagnosed with cancer it made me realize this dazed feeling he described has happened to me and I can recall each and every time.  It's a very close-to-God moment and must be what heaven is like.  Better is one day in your courts than thousands elsewhere

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